Everything Vanished

No warnings given
Unless it was the silent retreat of tears
What’s your belief?
The most hesitant of us relived those years
Desperate for momentary rewards
Wandering through the dreams of our past lives
Discovering that one moment that refused to fade
Wishing it could have lasted for more than that instant
Wondering how we ever arrived here
Three thousand miles between then and now
Be it through conjecture or myth
And then everything vanished
Like a sudden shadow in the night
Denied an existence
You were the torn apart martyr
Who made choices based on the facts you were given
Though so much was missing
Half of the pages never turned
It was as if we’d never been friends
…… And lovers
Still making rare appearances in random, un-announced visions
Refusing to age
Though I never knew any other age
Same touch, same lingering scent
Though in its wake, an image of life scarred and bent
Left one pondering what ifs.

May 2015

Chance Encounter

That chance encounter
A new glance
A possible smile
A renewed significance
It's been quite awhile
All of the past became part of today
A search for clarity
Exposed regrets in decay
Past blurred awareness
Released from suspended delay.

April 8, 2015

Shaken And Weak

I couldn’t help but wonder where you came from.
One day through sheer luck and the random timing of events and circumstances, there you were.
Impossible not to be noticed yet just moments before and a past lifetime to that point, unknown.
How could you have escaped notice for all that time?
Suddenly shaking up a world with your beauty and manner.
The brightest light, the clearest voice.
A presence persisting where all others faded.
Your varying shades of complete beauty intensifying with each passing moment in time.
Left behind, waves of reference points defining near perfection
Fortifying the truth from sudden perceived myths ablaze.
Were you always there?
Were others aware?
Was your abundant grace and humility revealed?
There’s something known and familiar
Maybe a dozen generations ago
If one believes in such things.
A shared touch and a frozen moment together
Or was it just the occasional random dream?
Called forth and into existence by a waning heart
Leaving pains of desire with each waking eternally fading ending
A futile search until revealed again in your own timing
Strengthening the myth, confirming possibilities ahead
Each unforeseen appearance leaving me shaken and weak
But alive!

February/March/April 2015

Remembered You Today

Remembered you today

Rare beauty, a chance taken
Weakened responses

Intense chills, dark eyes, trading glances at night

Fade to mist, spontaneous chords, melody of the days

That one initial touch, a lesser lifetime ago

February, 2015

Still Standing

Shrouded in fog and loneliness
Mostly unknown for decades
A solo sentinel standing hilltop watch
While the masses sleep and play
Alert for intruders and thieves
Eternally present to sound a warning to invasion
To fill the void left by ignorance and apathy
No time for frivolity
Silent and aloof in single minded dedication to duty
Resilient in the haze of repeated intrusions
Still resisting the elements
Still strong
Still devoted to its calling
Unrecognized by those who mindlessly revel solely in results
Feel free to preach from your perch
And expect all to listen
To demand occasional notice
Even though that’s never been your way
You would rather keep your humility and dignity
Accumulated over the echoing centuries
Therein you find your own infinite rewards
The knowledge that you made a difference

January 2015

Your Flame

Your name shines brightest in the eastern night sky
Brightening the lights that blaze in your flame
Somewhere in time, a convergence of minds
Mutes alarms and erases old fears
Celebrates the arrival with deafening eyes
Your words fill the waves with thunder and fire
They flash across days securing desires
Marginal gestures send beacons of hope
Decreasing the distance between unfamilar ways
I imagine your touch turns indifference to joy
I picture your gaze melts walls long deployed
I sense you're a dreamer lost in significant moments
This fading mirage shows that beauty is near
No attempt to disguise its evidence is clear
Your subtle echo navigates through curious airs
Healing these resolute stares


Maybe a reaction to a dream? Or a reaction to someone unknown in real life?

Looking Blindly Into Beauty

Awake for the moment
Looking blindly into beauty
A level not witnessed in generations
Seen from afar with no prior notification
Only noticed previously in dreams
A fragile truce evolves between mind and soul
And expeditious separation between rumor and truth
The elegance of undetermined origin
Mixing imponderable grace and humility
I was never one for dwelling solely in reality
But I never dared imagine that you actually existed

December 2014

Failed By Words

The changing has arrived and the invading shades proclaim their independence from the norm
Invisible echos sound their presence in the ever evolving sky
A single musical blast sends notice that everything has changed and will not return again
I am failed by words to explain all this
Failed by deeds to verify existing bliss
Was it a loss of part of my life?
Or a temporary blindness?
A brief insanity or a vision that failed to materialize?
Once present, now lost
And at what exorbitant cost?
You once argued that this was your way
And issued demands that this could not change
Declining values often place interest at risk
Frayed edges remain in the wake
This needed moment of silence shattered by fate

1990's

Some of these attempts at poetry are from 15-20 years ago and I didn't think to make notes as to what life situation was in place that caused them to come out. I can guess but would quite possibly be in error. Maybe fact or fiction but it had a story behind it at one time. 

Remembering Apprehension

Remembering apprehension
How did we survive?
What was the point?
A ritual played out over and over
Yet we returned and tried again ..... and again
Until it was eventually decided, that was enough
Were we masochists?
Lovers of pain?
Was growth and wisdom in short supply?
It took decades to grow weary of futility
Leaving in its wake, multiple fractured souls
Temporarily mended during abbreviated periods of neutrality
Each time swearing never again
Yet the lure was too strong
Simmering passions ruled suspended lives
Until now
A subconscious decision
No further forcing conclusions
The alternative becoming reality
A life saving acceptance of terms

December 2014

Two Thirds Gone

Two thirds gone
Elevated expectations became empty years maybe better forgotten
And half-hearted hope in wishing for one more day
One more chance to get it right
To feel the fires of young again
If just for an hour …. or a brief moment
Or God willing, maybe what remains of a lifetime
To know the thrill without the fear
To revel in glory …. or is it fascination?
To be without cares
And shout joyfully in silence into the night
Reclaiming elusive fragments of short stories
Or giving life to random occurring dreams
The last encounter, I remember it vaguely
But still feel the warmth
Distant but present
And regrets in the ending
I used to face your horizon and send notes in the winds
Unscreened messages between the north and the south
Attached to wandering and reluctant stars
Unsure of destination and wary of translation
Over a waning and chilly decade ago
Could it be time for resounding renewal
Time to reopen forgotten possibilities
And recall the molten rarified air
Before being assigned to infinite oblivion
Before its life possibility grows any shorter

November 2014

Looking back at a life, wondering if it's too late? Wanting to feel again but afraid to feel again. Are the risks too great?