Venus (A Fictional Moment)

It wasn't what we planned in those first days

Before the fall

Before everything became upside down

When we accepted ourselves

When it was new and bold and beyond the usual

When you believed

And I believed (I still do)

When I could feel your touch across a continent

When my heart trembled with pure and infinite joy

When I could hear your voice resonate in the shadows

When I awoke each day, soul shaken

In those needed seconds

When I was filled with unregulated warmth

And the world lost its unlimited weight

For those entirely too few and too brief moments

And you'll never know what would have been

How my core burned with fierce advocacy

And a deepening vision by your side

Without hesitation

With immunity to doubts

You became part of all things

I felt your presence in sacred places

Barriers ceased to feel insurmountable

Submission to solitude burned and faded

And I can't prove that I've ever cared for anyone as much as you

But it's true

These days I recite my pledge to you through the haze of memories

My truth

February-July, 2022

Sometimes things kept to oneself, need to be spoken or written .... so that there's a record that it happened, and that you cared.

Belief

It was never clear                                                                                                                                      Where the sudden anger rose from                                                                                                              The muted and hesitant responses                                                                                                          Submitted and fueled by honest confusion                                                                                                  You should have believed                                                                                                                            You should have known                                                                                                                                My sincerity was real                                                                                                                                    My love set                                                                                                                                                  You chose to look away                                                                                                                                You chose fear                                                                                                                                               I'm not much but I'm genuine                                                                                                                       I've never been much but I care                                                                                                                      A wounded soul remains in the wake of it all                                                                                                 A shaken shadow wanders these darkened steps                                                                                      What was the point?

From a dozen or more years ago? Questions never answered. Fears ran amok. Emotions still linger and never totally fade. One doesn't easily make friends with the ghosts. 

2022

Traces Of You

I see traces of you in the existing margins and shadows of every moment that's passed or yet to materialize.

In all these hidden places in my world where you have taken eternal residence.

Amid encounters with a famished soul

In these spheres above the usual routines

And reorganized visuals of hope

Elevated Silence

In the elevated silence

You inhabit frozen thoughts

Ancient dreams that existed before we were born

Awaiting discovery ..... or revival

You are the fire celebrated in rigid secrecy

Bestowing rarified, simmering beauty

Words for someone known for just a short time.

October, 2021

Was Anything Real

Discord among prevalent voices

I never knew your path anyway

A story with incomplete thoughts

From a blurred point of entry

The few facts filtered from uncertainty

Layered with abnormal fault lines

Leading to unknown destinations

Was anything as was stated?

Was anything real?

Questions and doubts emerged

Time delivered added mystery

While you chose your point of departure

Why leave so many questions in the wake?

I had heard that a classmate from university days had taken her life. Remembering a random afternoon sitting on the grass of the accepted student gathering place and talking music and home towns and our families ..... and whatever else came to mind for those two or so hours spent together.

Light Among Darkness

It was your warmth that was obvious

And your gentle nature

A light among so much darkness

Casting beauty and calm among surrounding dissonance

Progression of Whispers

Misplacing ancient beliefs

Anyway, lost to sacrificial dreams

There was fire in renewed vows and hopes

In the lateness of demons

The revered cries of an existence

Navigating a logistical chaos to a return to intimacy

Tried in the court of indecision

We adopted relative nakedness

Believed in the progression of whispers

Feared latent retribution

And in the end caught gazing at obscurity

Relying on a miracle

And prayers once uttered every other century

And a skeptical observance of treaties

That rarely apply

October 20, 2020

The Necessity of You

 An inimitable soul                                                                                                                                             Born of necessity                                                                                                                                               The necessity of you                                                                                                                                         For what this universe lacks                                                                                                                               For what's been missing within the edges

September 2020

You Remain

 You remain                                                                                                                                                         At the conclusion of every dream                                                                                                                  At the end of every trail                                                                                                                                    Where each day begins and ends                                                                                                                    At the core of each moment                                                                                                                           At the deconstruction of your trials                                                                                                             And the ensuing emergence                                                                                                                         You remain

August/September 2020

Vision Of One

You appeared in a mesmerizing flash of kindness and compassion
Fighting staunchly for survival from physical turmoil and fear
Your beautiful spirit and drive obviously the brightest star
In a universe filled with immortal fire
A presence not previously known in the history of time
Nor likely to be recognized again
Your distant soul felt in tidal waves of warmth and humility
Possessing overflowing grace when facing extreme circumstances
Becoming everything
Conquering all obstacles
A revelation to skeptical eyes
It didn't seem possible that you existed